Podcast: I'd Rather Not

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a teacher where every year a half of your class gets left back and you have to teach them all over again OR be obligated to sacrifice your smartest student to the I’d Rather Not gods?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a guaranteed middle-level position in a county office that is a bureaucratic nightmare and you will never accomplish anything OR be guaranteed a two-term presidency with a cooperative Congress but one the day your first term begins America makes contact with a war-like alien nation?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have everything you say go through a bad autocorrect filter OR only be able to communicate by yelling very loudly, including conveying emotions?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be forced to interact socially with every food item that you eat, and this interaction must be at minimum a 1-minute conversation OR have a unique magnetic property that attracts any condiment in a 30 foot radius around you?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a roadie for a very. very big rock band OR be a kaiju on a Power Rangers-esque television show?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a master thief whose career will immediately end if someone says the phrase “[your name], no swiping” to you OR have the hidden power to talk to animals but you must for an indeterminate length of time live with your parents and a pet as they travel the globe in an…

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WOULD YOU RATHER: Have free travel anywhere on any sort of locomotion but all your possessions must fit in two suitcases OR have free housing anywhere you want for life but you have to move every year?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have everything you eat randomly change its flavor every 10 minutes and that flavor need not be the flavor of another food OR be forced to independently control your legs down to the joint using a specially-built hand controller but the button mapping changes once a week?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have all doors blocked by a troll who makes you answer a riddle to pass OR Live in a world where spontaneous combustion is a regularly occurring thing?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Live in the world of your favorite game OR live in a world where your favorite video game is the most important f***ing thing ever and the entire economy rotates around it?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Sit in an hour of traffic during every commute to work and constantly feel like you have to pee OR be forced to walk to work every day but vomit uncontrollably every time you cross a street?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have the ability to travel back in time to any point in your life and redo an event but you completely change time and have to live with the consequences of that change OR Have the ability to travel back in time to any point in history without the ability to change…

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