WOULD YOU RATHER: Be the brand new sixth Power Rangers, the Mauve Ranger (an essential part of the group but have zero skills) OR Be John Wick’s identical French cousin who is constantly mistaken for your cousin but can only fight with 5% of the skill of your cousin?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Sire a powerful world leader OR be a Fox News anchor whenever Donald Trump is conveniently watching you?
The Trump Presidency is cancelled. By popular demand and a hard-fought campaign, you have won the presidency. WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to interact with foreign diplomats and the American public by screaming at the top of your lungs OR Hire Jaden Smith as your press secretary?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Only be able to speak the truth, and cannot avoid any questions asked of you OR Have every single decision in your life determined by a Magic 8-Ball?
To close out 2016, we bring back eight past losing scenarios and pit them against each other. Mistakes were made.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be an assassination target in the video game Hitman OR be one of the Koopalings that is not Bowser Jr.? (Ending remix created by Twill Distilled. Get her hot jams at https://twilldistilled.bandcamp.com/.)
You are going to be given the most amazing holiday feast, but you have to work for it. WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to compete with your family members in an obstacle course and quiz show OR Have to hash out your family’s problems on a Maury Povich-like daytime talk show?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Essentially become Inspector Gadget, but instead of solving crimes you’re Guy Fieri OR Be a film noir detective with a wacky robot sidekick?
You have the ability to go back in time and change any two events of 2016, but you create a fork in time when you do it. WOULD YOU RATHER: Return to a world where all forms of communication have reverted to Shakespearean English and Elizabethan technology OR Return to a world where once a…
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have to yell out the ingredients of everything you eat before you’re allowed to eat it, and someone other than you must hear it OR have an RFID chip implanted into your palm allowing you to have your very own exclusive features in Toys-to-Life games and can use in things that scan…
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have elections be decided by a tournament of baseball games OR a talent search-style competition?
There are 23 people in the world who are special and you are one of them. WOULD YOU RATHER: Have the 23 people be superheroes in a dystopia OR have them be the only non-superhero people in a utopia.