Podcast: I'd Rather Not

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a laugh track for your life but it always goes off at inappropriate times OR have everything you say featuring Lil Jon?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Take a vacation to Amity Island and have to fix their shark attack problem OR live your normal life but every encounter with a body water no matter how small has a 5% chance of containing a hungry shark?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Live in a small coastal town where supernatural murder that involves the entire town happens OR a small town in the middle of the desert besieged by crime where you are the sheriff?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have lights embedded in your skin OR Have the ability to secrete a substance into people when you touch them?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be gifted a hypoallergenic cat that never sheds, but unfortunately it is 80 lb. and only wants to cuddle in your lap every day OR be gifted with x-ray vision but you everyone is naked all the time and you can’t turn it off?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a Smurf, but never be able to understand what the different uses of the word “Smurf” means OR have every food you bite into filled with something unexpected?

To mix things up, this episode features a barrage of questions from Would You Rather Bot. It goes about as well as you would expect.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have a conspiracy theory cat or a Spanish-speaking dog?

You are a powerful wizard, but are captured by the Dark Lord. WOULD YOU RATHER: Enchant an inanimate object and bring it to life to save you OR Have WWE’s The New Day save you?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Have every interaction you have with another person involve them being passive aggressive and you’re never quite sure if they’re actually mad at you OR have every month end with an unavoidable boss battle with disappointing rewards?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Be Freaky Friday’d into the body of a powerful teen thought influencer with a sweet YouTube channel but only be able to speak in questions to an increasingly demanding audience OR have your Freaky Friday incident go awry, causing you to become an inept ghost that can only haunt useless objects?

WOULD YOU RATHER: Lose the ability to communicate but be able to live normally other than that OR spend your life in perpituity with your friends in a mansion as an appliance?